couldn't carry a note in a bucket

couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery

Is unable even to organise a project that requires no planning; is inc…

can't carry a tune in a bucket

Sings very badly.

couldn't happen to a nicer

Sarcastically asserts that those in question thoroughly deserve their …

couldn't care less

To not care at all; to have no interest or concern; to be apathetic.

couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery

Is unable even to organise a project that requires no planning; is inc…

couldn't stop a pig in a passage

To be bow-legged.